into the rabbit hole

as i slip deeper and deeper in to this obsession with home decorating, i can't help but think that this may be fulfilling a void that was left after i didn't have my wedding to plan anymore. i can't believe that i am finally taking an active interest in our home. actually, i can't believe that i haven't before. it's embarrassing and sad but, please. we all know that the wife of the year award isn't being bestowed on my ass.

there is one part of this humble (and do i EVER mean humble) abode that has irked, repelled and at some points straight disgusted me and that is the red walled-blue cabinet/counter topped kitchen. i hate you kitchen. these days i am all about not having any hate in my heart but i kid you not, i hate you. you are awful. nothing about you makes me happy, in fact quite the opposite is true. you are an eyesore but i just don't know what the hell to do with you. everything about you sucks including your shape, size and design but mark my words...i.will.conquer.you. so live it up, ugly, because your days are numbered. see ya!

current:


so embarrassing it pains me to share.

inspiration and dreams for the future (this update has to happen if we ever hope to rent this place out so while NO, i absolutely DO NOT plan to live in this house for much longer, this change will help make us money):

images from the happy home and oh joy!

i realize that there is no cohesion with these 3 pictures. let me explain breifly. the first is unrealistic for us with all the white but the layout is exactly like our kitchen only 3x as large. the 2nd is clean and shiny, just like i like it and 3rd is rustic and has the feel of our house. what i am going to try for is the lighting and island in #1 with the clean, minimal, shiny feel of #2 and use the natural touches of #3 to keep in the feel of our house. (i realize #3 is not a kitchen, but inspiration comes from different places)

once i actually convince people to read this blog i plan on asking for advice, but until then i will continue to make plans and begin projects without my husband's opinion because i know he will help me finish them and it saves me the pain of his 2nd guessing me :) i need to try and err on my own.

look at me! i am definitely feeling like a real wife with this new obsession. we'll see how i feel after i am in tallahassee and the gulf coast this week for work. chances are preeeettty good that i will return exhausted just happy to have a home, husband and dogs to come back to and all of my ambition will be put on the back burner. i hope not, though, because i am really excited about creating something that i am proud of.

tales from the enchanted forest

first off, i don't think that "forest" has 2 r's but it might and if so, forgive me. i am too lazy to spell check. if you haven't figured out that i am lazy by now by my lack of capital letters, here is my official admission. whatever.

so any day now the department of forestry (forrestry?) or fish and game or whatever is going to come here and quarden our front yard as an official bird refuge. it's totally insane. not to mention, these birds are pigs and extremely ingrateful. i provide food for them:

and they spill it all over the front porch:

please excuse the dilapidated condition of our front porch. this is husband's problem, not mine.

that bird feeder was full not 2 weeks ago. furthermore, it is supposed to be squirrel-proof and it is absolutely not. i find those fat asses up on there all the time. and even when i don't actually catch them in the act, when the thing is swinging like a tornado just ripped through, it's a dead give away that one of them just jumped off.

this bird situation is no joke. in the evening you hear no less than 7 different KINDS of bird chirps and calls. this one bird family sets up nest in our garage every year. over the weekend, B helped the baby birds learn to fly. he actually was scooping them up and helping them fly. that's weird, right?

yesterday morning, i heard a weird noise and looked out at the feeder and there was a woodpecker on it trying to peck through to the plastic to get to the good stuff in the feeder! apparently not all of the seeds in there are good enough, hence the mess on the porch. i planted some onions in the planter below the feeder and it is constatly overgrown with weeds that i have to pick!!! B pointed out that it's probably all the seeds. ungrateful ahole birds.

in my diet-pill fueled haze i just realized that i wrote a post about the birds in my yard. who am i?!?

so lame

well it's official that i am a lame blogger. however, i have an excuse this time and while i HATE excuses more than life, this one is a tiny bit legit: i regressed this weekend and am having to be housebroken all over again.

i waved all domestic responsibilities good-bye on thursday and went to the beach with 25 friends for the wedding of the year. (it's 2010 now and i was married in 2009 - different years, you see?) we all stayed in this magnificent house on the beach with an elevator, a pool and a putting green with a sand trap. magnificent, i tell you.

i didn't drive myself there, i roomed with some of my besties, i didn't cook, clean or even fix my own cocktails. there was someone there to do everything for me! it's like when a dog goes out into the woods for awhile and become a little bit feral and when they come home you have to train them all over again. B wasn't able to come so i didn't even have a husband to care for!

well, i guess today i have to start that process. sunday when i got home i wa sick with sinus yuck and B had already cleaned our house, cooked me dinner, put fresh sheets on the bed and later, he even tucked me in to bed! monday i was still sick and so he baked me chocolate chip cookies and made me sandwiches for dinner. do you see?!? how am i supposed to become the domestic wife that i am supposed to be if everyone keeps doing everything for me?

starting tonight i will cook dinner and i think it will involve meat. meat always helps. and then i will start sewing the wedding gift i am making for my friends. that should ease me right back into the swing of things around here.

now...how the hell am i going to motivate myself to work today?!? that's another thing all together.

too chicken to try it? not me.

stuffed chicken breasts tonight. i was inspired by seeing some at fresh market and instead of buying them i decided to make my own. i trolled the internet for ideas and used a hybrid of about 3. here is what i did:

- first i made breadcrumbs

i had bought this little mini food chopper on black friday 3 years ago for like $14 and had never used it. it was really convienient, easy to use and easy to clean. i will definitely use it again soon.

- then i made the stuffing; jack and extra sharp cheddar cheeses both cavit, ortega chilis and bacon (mine was sans bacon but billy lives it so i added it to his)

- pounded the chicken

- stuffed the chicken

note to self: next time buy actial toothpicks and don't just break apart skewers for kabobs.

- dipped them in flour (with seasoning), then dipped them in egg, then dipped them in the breadcrumbs with more seasoning.

should have processed the bread crumbs longer. oh well.

i haven't cooked them yet but am about to. i took a break to watch jeopardy. i'll keep you posted!

slacker

i am a blogging slacker, a workout slacker, a homemaker slacker, friend slaker, and gardening slacker. the only thing that i am not slacking on is work - only because it is so damn demanding right now! i am working on finding a balance. we'll see how that work out.

i got a sewing machine! it has been forever since i sewed and so i am having to take it slow and learn everything again. i am working with appliques right now so be on the look out in your mail. you might be getting some of my practice projects. i am so ridiculously excited about all of the possibilities of what i can create! maybe that's all i needed all along...a creative outlet. or, quite possibly, sewing is going to add to my anxiety even more!

thinking about balance and priorities, i think about how different everyone's life is. in my life i balance home and marriage life, work, friends, dogs, exercise/staying active, tennis, restaurant and now sewing projects (we'll see). there are other things that come up but this is the basics that make up my life right now. where would i ever fit a kid in to that? how does nicole (and countless other mothers out there but she is the closest to me) do it? i have no idea but i am in awe of her and all women like her.

being in sales is like having 50 bosses. i have more than 50 customers that rely on me and that i have to make happy on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. i guess they are a lot like my life. i do what i can for them, give them the attention they need and deserve, and then they are satisfied until another need arises.

in my life, i give each area the attention it needs until i am satisfied with where i am with it and then can set it aside and give attention to another part. the dogs get attention, they are satisfied, they leave me alone. i go to tennis practice, work hard, it ends and i put it aside until the next time. i go to the restaurant, work, collect my tips and go home and don't think about it until i am there again. the only problem with this is my real job. i carry it with me wherever i go. every bad/unsatisying interaction, every dollar NOT sold, i bring home and let affect my marriage/social interactions/home life. i guess i have found the part that needs balancing. does anyone know how to do this? i need help.

tales from my marriage

got a friendly reminder today that being married 4 months does not make us experts on either marriage or eachother.

this evening i went upstairs to change out of my work clothes and into gardening clothes to pull weeds. there was a wasp buzzing around our room. (atlanta has been taken over by wasps in the past 2 weeks. they are EVERYWHERE...this was the 3rd in a week i have found in the house) i called husband up to kill it and when he did i noticed that the screen on the window is bent. i told him that we needed to bend the screen back. he said, "i don't think it came in through there." okay, where did it come from? "they could be coming in from anywhere, there could be a nest in the attic." HUH???

he then turned and walked downstairs like this scenario is okay with him. i then said some things that were probably not nice including, "i'm not going to live here if you think wasps are okay."

i sat there, dumbfounded. if i ever thought for 1 milisecond that there wasa wasp nest in our attic the exterminator would be on the phone already. but that is obviously a differece between me and the man i am spending the rest of my life with. i explained to him how unacceptable this comment was and he totally got it. HUH???

he said that he thinks the wasp probably did come in the crack in the screen. HUH???

did he just say the thing about the wasp nest to rile me up? was that comment a result of him getting defensive over a SCREEN?

there is still so much to learn about marriage and eachother. i love him so much, i hope there will always be something new to learn from eachother but absolutely not that my husband thinks it is okay to live with wasps in our house.

good wife...almost

so after being away from the home and husband for about 10 days, it took awhile to get back in the swing of things. after a week of being back my suitcase still wasn't unpacked. and i have to say, i have the best husband. B is a neat freak and he knew i was working hard so he didn't even hassle me about it. love him. this sight graced the LIVING ROOM FLOOR for a week. that's right, i never even took it upstairs.



in return for the understanding i made him cookies. he likes yellow cake cookies and i like making them because they are easy. there were, however, some problems with this plan; the first being that my kitchen is too small to have my kitchen-aid out all the time and so pulling it out of the bottom of the pantry is a pain in the ass. i did not pull out the mixer this time and my arms are not strong enough to mix the batter with the requisite 2 eggs and 1/2 cup of oil. and so, like the lazy housewife that i am, i added a bit more oil and egg to the mixture which resulted in this mushiness:



and this:


FLAT COOKIES :( i added a bit of flour to them and the other batches came out better.




yay! not that flat!

the day after the cookies, i was apparently feeling martha-esque and decided to make a paula deen recipe for empanadas that i had seen on foodnetwork.com. it seemed totally easy. i went to the grocery and got all 5 ingredients (this is the optimum number for any recipe i attempt)and started making them. i am including the recipe below so that you can all laugh at how easy this shit was.

needless to say, "easy" involved a gigantic mess and me flipping out at B for not being enthusiastic enough over them after all my hard work! poor husband. i apparently wanted a parade and all he could muster (after waiting 3 hours to eat) was a, "these are good baby."

oh yeah! and towards the end of this process i was totally over cutting out those stupid little cirlces and so i just made one BIG one with all of the leftover crust. it was the size of a calzone and i ate the whole thing. i just figure less carbs because less crust, right?




Ingredients
3 cups chopped, cooked chicken
1 (8-ounce) package shredded Colby and Monterey Jack cheese blend
4 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup chopped red bell pepper
1 jalapeno, seeded and chopped
1 tablespoon ground cumin
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 (15-ounce) package refrigerated pie crusts
Water
Directions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Lightly grease a baking sheet. In a large bowl, combine the chicken and next 7 ingredients. Unroll 1 piecrust onto a lightly floured surface. Roll into a 15-inch circle. Cut out rounds, using a 3-inch cookie cutter. Re-roll dough as needed. Repeat procedure with remaining piecrusts, making 12 to 15 circles total. Arrange 1 round on a clean, flat surface. Lightly brush the edges of crust with water. Place 1 heaping teaspoon of chicken mixture in the center of the round. Fold the dough over the filling, pressing the edges with a fork to seal. Repeat with the remaining rounds and chicken mixture. (Up to this point, the recipe can be made ahead and frozen for up to 1 month). Arrange empanadas on the prepared baking sheet. Bake for 15 minutes.

Hello

so it is my 29th birthday and i am sitting at home with my dogs. my husband is at work (he IS a florist and it IS valentines day) and my nearest family member is 2800 miles away. so is this a good day? i am sitting in a warm house with my dogs who i love. i am healthy and have food to eat. i have a husband who i love and friends that i adore. so i guess that this is a good day.

today seemed like the perfect time to start writing my thoughts down. i received my first "wife" birthday card last night at midnight. it brought me to tears. i love being married so far - all 2 months of it - but it is uncharted territory for us. there is so much more to this than me wearing sparkly rings. a big one is whether or not i will be changing my name. i know eventually i will but i am really struggling with letting go of my name and i don't know why. is this normal? i have no idea but dad keeps telling me it is not normal and that i have to let go.

for now, i am going to fix myself a drink and wait for my hubby to come home and think about a good topic for my next post.