tales from the enchanted forest

first off, i don't think that "forest" has 2 r's but it might and if so, forgive me. i am too lazy to spell check. if you haven't figured out that i am lazy by now by my lack of capital letters, here is my official admission. whatever.

so any day now the department of forestry (forrestry?) or fish and game or whatever is going to come here and quarden our front yard as an official bird refuge. it's totally insane. not to mention, these birds are pigs and extremely ingrateful. i provide food for them:

and they spill it all over the front porch:

please excuse the dilapidated condition of our front porch. this is husband's problem, not mine.

that bird feeder was full not 2 weeks ago. furthermore, it is supposed to be squirrel-proof and it is absolutely not. i find those fat asses up on there all the time. and even when i don't actually catch them in the act, when the thing is swinging like a tornado just ripped through, it's a dead give away that one of them just jumped off.

this bird situation is no joke. in the evening you hear no less than 7 different KINDS of bird chirps and calls. this one bird family sets up nest in our garage every year. over the weekend, B helped the baby birds learn to fly. he actually was scooping them up and helping them fly. that's weird, right?

yesterday morning, i heard a weird noise and looked out at the feeder and there was a woodpecker on it trying to peck through to the plastic to get to the good stuff in the feeder! apparently not all of the seeds in there are good enough, hence the mess on the porch. i planted some onions in the planter below the feeder and it is constatly overgrown with weeds that i have to pick!!! B pointed out that it's probably all the seeds. ungrateful ahole birds.

in my diet-pill fueled haze i just realized that i wrote a post about the birds in my yard. who am i?!?