food? oh, am i supposed to supply that?

homecooked meals in past week: 0
sandwiches eaten: 6
easy mac cups consumed: at least 3
buffets: 1
beers: probably close to 30

*these numbers represent our household, not me by myself

i am a little gun shy about cooking again after the empanada escapade. this has resulted in the above statistics. does this kind of laziness make me a bad wife? probably not. when wild animals are being domesticated they sometimes slip up, right? shamu anyone? okay, so now that we have established that i am an actual GOOD wife...even if due to effort/intention alone, let's get down to business.

i need motivation/recipes. there is only so many ideas you can get off of kraft.com and foodnetwork.com. especially when my ingredient list is limited to 5 items because any more than that intimidates me.

lately i have been thinking a lot about the 1950's housewives and how i am supposed to contribute the same, domestically, that they were and still have a career. and i am not talking about a telephone operator career. i work my ass off and travel, damnit. and i love it! and i am good at it! UNLIKE the domestic duties i feel obligated to. honestly, i think that i am living my grandma rose's life. i swear! she was the career woman, owning a business and following her ambition while my grandfather worked the steady job, not really jumping at any chances to take a risk. my grandmother's business chance paid off - and she has been tearing it up ever since. (mind you she is still working at 86 which i find a wee bit obsessive but she has to in order to fuel her gambling and champaign hobbies)

i digress. do you know what GENIUS solution my grandma rose came up with so that she could "do it all"??? A WEEKLY MENU! she cooked the same 7 things EVERY WEEK! she is sooo smart!!! mind you, this situation has resulted in my dad's hatred of escarole soup, but details, smetials. every week, people! my weekly menu would consist of the following:

Monday (summer): shrimp and spinach salad
Monday (winter): tortilla soup

Tuesday: casserole involving ground turkey, stewed tomatoes, brown rice, and cheese

Wednesday: chicken cabobs with vidalia onions, red bell peppers, mushrooms and tomatos
(alternate: gyros. i have tennis practice wednesdays and giorgios takeout would be great)

Thursday: fish, asparagus, rice pilaf and corn on the cob

Friday: either tacos made at home or mexican

Saturday: PIZZA!!!!

Sunday (summer): steak, baked potato, salad and cheddar buscuits
Sunday (winter): homemade pasta sauce (grandma rose's) with salad

honestly...this could be my week. the only problem would be that i would need a) someone to shop for all of it b) someone to prepare and make it and c) an effing miracle to make my husband eat any of the shit on this list, exluding the pizza, gyros and steak.

things that make you go hmmm? vol.1

why do my razors need to be "mango" colored? can't they make them out of flippin recycled sprite bottles and knock $2 off the price? while i love the person who decided that we should groom up and shave our legs...i do not appreciate being ripped off just to get a quality razor that won't rip my skin off.

i also love the person who invented toilet paper but i resent having to pay $13 for a 3 month supply. shouldn't such a basic need such as toilet paper be free? like air?

good wife...almost

so after being away from the home and husband for about 10 days, it took awhile to get back in the swing of things. after a week of being back my suitcase still wasn't unpacked. and i have to say, i have the best husband. B is a neat freak and he knew i was working hard so he didn't even hassle me about it. love him. this sight graced the LIVING ROOM FLOOR for a week. that's right, i never even took it upstairs.



in return for the understanding i made him cookies. he likes yellow cake cookies and i like making them because they are easy. there were, however, some problems with this plan; the first being that my kitchen is too small to have my kitchen-aid out all the time and so pulling it out of the bottom of the pantry is a pain in the ass. i did not pull out the mixer this time and my arms are not strong enough to mix the batter with the requisite 2 eggs and 1/2 cup of oil. and so, like the lazy housewife that i am, i added a bit more oil and egg to the mixture which resulted in this mushiness:



and this:


FLAT COOKIES :( i added a bit of flour to them and the other batches came out better.




yay! not that flat!

the day after the cookies, i was apparently feeling martha-esque and decided to make a paula deen recipe for empanadas that i had seen on foodnetwork.com. it seemed totally easy. i went to the grocery and got all 5 ingredients (this is the optimum number for any recipe i attempt)and started making them. i am including the recipe below so that you can all laugh at how easy this shit was.

needless to say, "easy" involved a gigantic mess and me flipping out at B for not being enthusiastic enough over them after all my hard work! poor husband. i apparently wanted a parade and all he could muster (after waiting 3 hours to eat) was a, "these are good baby."

oh yeah! and towards the end of this process i was totally over cutting out those stupid little cirlces and so i just made one BIG one with all of the leftover crust. it was the size of a calzone and i ate the whole thing. i just figure less carbs because less crust, right?




Ingredients
3 cups chopped, cooked chicken
1 (8-ounce) package shredded Colby and Monterey Jack cheese blend
4 ounces cream cheese, softened
1/4 cup chopped red bell pepper
1 jalapeno, seeded and chopped
1 tablespoon ground cumin
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 (15-ounce) package refrigerated pie crusts
Water
Directions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Lightly grease a baking sheet. In a large bowl, combine the chicken and next 7 ingredients. Unroll 1 piecrust onto a lightly floured surface. Roll into a 15-inch circle. Cut out rounds, using a 3-inch cookie cutter. Re-roll dough as needed. Repeat procedure with remaining piecrusts, making 12 to 15 circles total. Arrange 1 round on a clean, flat surface. Lightly brush the edges of crust with water. Place 1 heaping teaspoon of chicken mixture in the center of the round. Fold the dough over the filling, pressing the edges with a fork to seal. Repeat with the remaining rounds and chicken mixture. (Up to this point, the recipe can be made ahead and frozen for up to 1 month). Arrange empanadas on the prepared baking sheet. Bake for 15 minutes.

spring has sprung

thank God for the little things that give us hope (and not hope in an obama way.) i awoke this morning to find this outside my front door.

such a beautiful sight after a long, cooold, bleak, dull winter. you are getting how miserable the winter was, right? okay good.

after 2 years and 2 massive failures, i have decided not to have my vegetable garden again this year. instead i got myself one of these.

lazy, i know. i will probably also plant my peppers again because they are hardy and taste good in tortilla soup and salsa.

domestic bliss?

in the last 2 days i have made deviled eggs (success), yellow cake cookies (fail), and now empanadas. i haven't actually baked them yet so we'll see.

stay tuned. i photographed all of this wannabe domesticity so that we can have a laugh together!

traveling soul

i was going to say to hell with this blog because i thought, "no one is reading it so why bother". but then i missed it and i decided that i would keep it for myself. if you are reading this, yay! and if not, oh well.

for our tennis match today beth decided that we would all make different salads (i.e. pasta, potato, egg, chicken, spinach) and i got assigned deviled eggs. i had never made them before but i did it! and i got compliments! yay me :) we ate them over at caryn's after the tennis matched got called for rain. for the past 2 seasons we have had to deal with weather which is so annoying because rescheduling sucks.

i have been busy! i went to idaho for meredith and zac's wedding. i love them.

i went from there to my parents house for the week. it was awesome to be home.

i will always think of southern california as home. the spring air smelled like my childhood and i got a chance to go back in time and reconnect with myself.

then i worked the natural products expo west. i had a great time with my co-workers but it was exhausting. Capital E.

now i am back with the husband that i adore and the dogs who i both love and loathe and i couldn't be happier. okay, i would be happier if it were 75 degrees outside but we can't always get what we want :)

sheet count? 1 or 600? who can tell?

so pretty much me and the husband hate high thread count sheets. i want to be a sheet snob but we, unfortunately, like the $2.99 sheets from IKEA. imagine my delight today when i went to wal mart for an oil change and found king sheets for $19. i would have scooped up muliple sets but the colors...well, they left a lot to be desired. black? really? ewww.

so i got the red set and was happy. they are 250 thread count but feel like a tshirt. horrah!

and yes, i was in wal mart for an oil chnge because i needed a card table and figured i could kill 2 birds with one stone. however, my $30 oil change ended up costing $90. wtf?

in other non-pretentious news...i have spent a ton in yankee candle and bath and body works trying to find a plug-in that actually smells up my house in a pleasant way. after MUCH aggrivation i bought some glade plug-ins and DAMN, my house smells AMAZING! thank you glade for reminding me that cheaper can be better. and also, thank you for lavender/vanilla. my house is like an aromatherapy session every time i walk in!

yay!