all about a monday night...

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
on a boat on a body of water, the sun shining, me, husband, the puppies, some music and a cold beer.

What is your greatest fear?
failure. and all of the ambiguity that comes with this.

Which figures do you most identify with?
i want to be a cross between Ivanka Trump and the Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond. Business/Creative mashup.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
i tend to hold on to things, emotionally.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
liars. bullshit. superiority.

What do you most value in your friends?
loyalty and acceptance.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
don't know...this is one i need to ask billy about!

What is your favorite journey?
when billy and i just ride around sometimes. he likes to know where all roads lead so we have a lot of fun adventures together.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
credentials.

What is your favorite occupation?
i haven't found it yet but being in outside sales suits me...i cannot function couped up in an office.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?
legs. ick.

What is your greatest regret?
that i haven't worked harder to get farther ahead in my career. i am in a situation with no growth potential and i know i have so much more to contribute.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
obviously my husband...but cayenne i think is another love of my life. no matter how long i live, she will always have a special place with me. she is like a limb, we have been together through so much.

When and where were you happiest?
our wedding trip. together, sun, drinks, friends and family and being married to the best friend in the world.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
more confidence in things that i cannot control. i pray and think positively but sometimes having faith in others is tough. oh, and i talk too damn much.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
moving down here by myself (with cayenne :)) and not running home when it got tough...which it did.

What is your most treasured possession?
do the dogs count? it's more like i belong to them. my engagement ring, a few photos that i don't have digitally, a ring of my grandmothers and another of my moms.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
helplessness.

Where would you like to live?
anywhere as long as i am with my love and my pups. but ideally, THE BEACH.

What is your most marked characteristic?
my big mouth. not physically though i wish. i am always talking, i like to make people laugh.

What is your greatest extravagance?
i hope that it will be my new camera very soon!!!

What are the qualities you most like in a man?
loyal, honest, fun and creative. billy is the most loyal person on earth and i can always trust that what he is saying is the truth, he never tries to manipulate and he never has an agenda.

that is all for now...there are more but i will save them for another time. goodnight :)

things i repeatedly ask myself

- where the eff did spring go??? it's like every single year i see it as going from 30* directly to 100*. i also do this with fall.
- how did my dogs get so cute? this is because i am lame :)
- why am i so tired? ironically, i am mostly only tired when i have to do something i don't want to do. i.e. dishes, laundry, etc.
- am i nuts? this mostly pertains to work because sometimes things happen that are outside my realm of comprehension.
- why are the squirrels constantly on the porch? this is clearly because of the full bird feeder i also keep there but yet, i keep asking why?

i also ask myself things like, do you really need to eat that? is it really worth arguing over? and do you really want to go to jail for punching that person? the answer to all of these is always, NO but whether or not i listen to my wise inner voice is another story. i am proud to say that i have not ever gone to jail for punching someone so obviously even i have a line that cannot be crossed. sometimes being able to outwit someone with words is more satisfying, anyhow. the problem comes when you are dealing with a complete looney because they are too out of it to know that you have made a stellar argument and concede the point. this happens when you deal with the following personalities; delusional, narcissist (think people in positions of power), and of course actual rubber room inhabitants.

the fact that there are people out there in positions of power that have no business being in them is concerning. i do not think that community organizers are qualified to be president. it is also clear that he lacks as a leader because of his unwillingness to give anyone else credit for anything. this is a blatant scream of insecurity. i deal with one of these people on a daily basis and it is exhausting because either i play along or i revolt and risk my well being. life lessons are hard to learn but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?