slumdog sleep inn. fing gross.

so the stuffed chicken breasts were amazing and i FINALLY got a noteworth response from the husband. B raved over them like he had never tasted cheese before. i was so proud i fell asleep. all in a hard days work ;)

so on the southern tour that is my anti-glam life i am sitting in a disgusting sleep inn in athens, alabama. so pissed. i didn't book my hotel room in huntsville in time and they were all booked because of some conference. this is a smoking room - it smells like the dunes hotel/casino in vegas ca. 1945. can't wait to roll into the health food store tomorrow am reeking of stale ciggies.

i have now laid out my clothes i wore today all over my side of the bed so that i don't touch a single linen in this flea bag. i wish i owned a gun...and a permit to have the gun...maybe if i drove around in a little motorhome with all of the convience and cleanliness of home instead of a civic. now that's something to think about for my little vagabond life! i might even put a "free bird" bumper sticker on it!

i guess for tonight i will listen to the magical melody of the fing freeway and let myself drift off to sleep. even though it is 8:09pm. the sooner i sleep through this nightmare, the sooner i will wake up and get the f out.

on a last thought, though. i look around places in these po-dunk southern towns that i go to and think, "how did i get from sunny, sparkly southern california to here?" and i am not one to judge a book by it's cover (well, i don't do it ALL the time!!!) but when the clerk in the hotel ISN'T WEARING SHOES i tend to wonder WHY, God, WHY?!?! is this a test? maybe. especially when i get to the dumpy room and the only channel that comes in clearly is MTV and there is a hills marathon on. RUB IT IN WHY DON'T YOU!!!

too chicken to try it? not me.

stuffed chicken breasts tonight. i was inspired by seeing some at fresh market and instead of buying them i decided to make my own. i trolled the internet for ideas and used a hybrid of about 3. here is what i did:

- first i made breadcrumbs

i had bought this little mini food chopper on black friday 3 years ago for like $14 and had never used it. it was really convienient, easy to use and easy to clean. i will definitely use it again soon.

- then i made the stuffing; jack and extra sharp cheddar cheeses both cavit, ortega chilis and bacon (mine was sans bacon but billy lives it so i added it to his)

- pounded the chicken

- stuffed the chicken

note to self: next time buy actial toothpicks and don't just break apart skewers for kabobs.

- dipped them in flour (with seasoning), then dipped them in egg, then dipped them in the breadcrumbs with more seasoning.

should have processed the bread crumbs longer. oh well.

i haven't cooked them yet but am about to. i took a break to watch jeopardy. i'll keep you posted!

hospitality...huh?

today was one of those super weird days that makes you literally scratch your head and say (out loud) what the f just happened?!?

it started out innocently enough with my working my way to mobile, al. i have been here a bunch of times and have found it to be a very normal place. apparently there must be some kind of spring fever in the air because this place is full of the friendliest, chattiest and quite frankly, the SCARIEST people ever.

scene - i walk in to a restaurant to get takeout to take back to my hotel but i have been in the car for 4+ hours and have to pee. as i am rushing to the restroom the manager says, "restrooms are closed." errrrrerrrrt. i practically skid to a halt. "are you joking?" "yes" he tells me. seeing as i am about to pee in my pants i say, "not funny" and run into the bathroom. when i come out i am in much higher spirits and we have a laugh about it. i am later sitting at the bar waiting for my salad and he tells all of the bar patrons about our little joke. he is like my bff!!!

while sitting at this bar enjoying a little glass of ravenswood zin (delicioso) one waiter comes up to me and asks me if i am the new hostess manager. huh? "well you are wearing all black and our hostesses wear all black." oh, well, okay then. he SOMEHOW manages to extract out of me my life story and it turns out that he lived in tustin, ca for awhile when he escaped pensacola and his large, overbearing family. but his mother needed him and so he came back to be nearer to her. all of this within 2 minutes. he is like a verbal ninja.

scene - hobby lobby 5 minutes post bar incident. i am buying raffia for some raffle boxes for a customer. a girl in front of me in line comments on my engagement/wedding bands. i notice she has an engagement ring on, tell her how pretty it is and in the next 3 minutes while we are checking out she manages to give me so much detail about her DIY beach wedding that i probably could have been her on-site coordinator day of.

scene - gas station. i am buying water for middle of the night thirsties and the man behind the counter gets me to tell him all about my job, and i listen to every single place he was ever stationed in the 30 years he was in the army.

HOW does this keep happening??? is it me? i am not very nice and certainly know nothing about "southern hospitality" even though i have lived down here 4 years. was i just ultra approachable today? doubt it. i think that people here, once winter is over, come alive with happiness that they cannot contain. a far cry from so california when everyone is too cool for even themselves. i felt like i was walking around mayberry for f's sake!

there was another scene from the hotel lobby when the receptionist that i know a bit from staying here and i had a pretty graphic convo about men and their lewd remarks. obvi we were talking about someplace far away from the emerald city that is mobile ;)

is this what saturday feels like?

i have an entire saturday to myself today. i have no earthly idea what to do with myself, i don't have saturdays to myself. i don't give myself saturdays because i have a confession; i fear them. i have been operating at this feverish pace for so long that if i slow down, i'll just stop all together. come to a screeching halt and i would be rendered immobile.

if i actually discover what the mythical "lazy saturday" holds, is it going to draw me in? am i going to become a 2 day off a week addict? am i going to feel entitled to this kind of freedom? for now i am going to deem today a one off, enjoy it and then forget it. the day stretches out before me like vacation. it's kind of like found money. i have a whole found day!

slacker

i am a blogging slacker, a workout slacker, a homemaker slacker, friend slaker, and gardening slacker. the only thing that i am not slacking on is work - only because it is so damn demanding right now! i am working on finding a balance. we'll see how that work out.

i got a sewing machine! it has been forever since i sewed and so i am having to take it slow and learn everything again. i am working with appliques right now so be on the look out in your mail. you might be getting some of my practice projects. i am so ridiculously excited about all of the possibilities of what i can create! maybe that's all i needed all along...a creative outlet. or, quite possibly, sewing is going to add to my anxiety even more!

thinking about balance and priorities, i think about how different everyone's life is. in my life i balance home and marriage life, work, friends, dogs, exercise/staying active, tennis, restaurant and now sewing projects (we'll see). there are other things that come up but this is the basics that make up my life right now. where would i ever fit a kid in to that? how does nicole (and countless other mothers out there but she is the closest to me) do it? i have no idea but i am in awe of her and all women like her.

being in sales is like having 50 bosses. i have more than 50 customers that rely on me and that i have to make happy on a daily/weekly/monthly basis. i guess they are a lot like my life. i do what i can for them, give them the attention they need and deserve, and then they are satisfied until another need arises.

in my life, i give each area the attention it needs until i am satisfied with where i am with it and then can set it aside and give attention to another part. the dogs get attention, they are satisfied, they leave me alone. i go to tennis practice, work hard, it ends and i put it aside until the next time. i go to the restaurant, work, collect my tips and go home and don't think about it until i am there again. the only problem with this is my real job. i carry it with me wherever i go. every bad/unsatisying interaction, every dollar NOT sold, i bring home and let affect my marriage/social interactions/home life. i guess i have found the part that needs balancing. does anyone know how to do this? i need help.

tales from my marriage

got a friendly reminder today that being married 4 months does not make us experts on either marriage or eachother.

this evening i went upstairs to change out of my work clothes and into gardening clothes to pull weeds. there was a wasp buzzing around our room. (atlanta has been taken over by wasps in the past 2 weeks. they are EVERYWHERE...this was the 3rd in a week i have found in the house) i called husband up to kill it and when he did i noticed that the screen on the window is bent. i told him that we needed to bend the screen back. he said, "i don't think it came in through there." okay, where did it come from? "they could be coming in from anywhere, there could be a nest in the attic." HUH???

he then turned and walked downstairs like this scenario is okay with him. i then said some things that were probably not nice including, "i'm not going to live here if you think wasps are okay."

i sat there, dumbfounded. if i ever thought for 1 milisecond that there wasa wasp nest in our attic the exterminator would be on the phone already. but that is obviously a differece between me and the man i am spending the rest of my life with. i explained to him how unacceptable this comment was and he totally got it. HUH???

he said that he thinks the wasp probably did come in the crack in the screen. HUH???

did he just say the thing about the wasp nest to rile me up? was that comment a result of him getting defensive over a SCREEN?

there is still so much to learn about marriage and eachother. i love him so much, i hope there will always be something new to learn from eachother but absolutely not that my husband thinks it is okay to live with wasps in our house.

wild animal tales

have have spent some time over the past week thinking about why domestication is so diffucult for me. i have MANY ideas but most of them are still rolling around in my brain, trying to work themselves out. for now, let's take a look back at when i was free as a bird and as feral as a coyote.

date: mother's day ca. 2001
the scene: my parent's house
my entire mom's side of the family is gathered having a lovely, pleasant gathering involving lunch and gifts for grandma. i bust onto the scene more than 2 hours late, doing the walk of shame in a fraternity t-shirt and smelling like a brewery. i can hardly function on the 2 hours of sleep i got and am having difficulty focusing and forming sentences. nic showing, asshole.

date: the night before my college graduation
the scene: my dad telling me to take it easy when i go out tonight because graduation is going to be looong and the forecast for the day is like 105 degrees.
the scene later: 6 shots and 10 beers in i am line dancing my ass off when the bar closes at 2am. i promptly take the party back to my parents house and the good times roll until roughly, i pass out cold.
next day: call time for graduation is 8am and i am pretty sure i might die. i have to sit in an effing black gown for 3.5 hours in the scorching june sun. no chance of june gloom this day...oh no! why would God give me a break when i had CLEARLY ignored my father's wise warning? the worst was that after graduation there was a party in my honor where everyone was toasting me and i was in the bathroom puking.

the date: sometime in 2004-2005
the scene: a bar. this was a particularly awesome couple of years for me and my best friend, moisha. she is my partner in crime but funnily, she has managed to adapt to all of this wife nonsense very well. i just don't get it. anyhow, we were in a skanky bar with some of our guy friends from college. all of a sudden, in the middle of a particularly strenuous drinking move, my shoe breaks. i am shoeless. does this prompt me to go home, or to a SHOE STORE? no. i just cannot be inconvienienced by this. i not only go all the way through happy hour, but later to a party in a fraternity house. with no effing shoes on. it really is no wonder why i don't get sick. ever. my immune system is the man of steel.

there are a million stories like this and for many of them, i even have photos! i will share them as the memories creep back in. this isn't easy, you see because a) i was drunk all the time and b) i already have a crap memory.

reality t.v. - not for sissys

let's first start off with the real housewives of nyc. i am pretty sure that they are all losers. these women are seriously, pretty lame. i cannot stand bethenny and her big, joker-like features and think that she should never, under any circumstances (unless it is halloween and she is actually dressing up as the joker) wear red lipstick again. her whole face just looks like mouth when she does. ramona belongs in a trailer park somewhere outside of st. louis, mo. and poor alex is married to a gay guy! they don't even have any real drama, no skanks amongst them (i.e. gretchen from o.c.), and the only bit of drama they do have - luann's divorce - they don't even talk about any of the juicy details! i want new jersey back! but not atlanta, i hate atlanta housewives, this town is nothing like it gets portrayed through those mentally ill women's eyes.

16 and pregnant breaks my heart so i am not watching that anymore.